SELFISH PAYS

Apologies for leaving you unattended for what feels like forever. I am back and I had stated in the last post that I'd be away taking care of myself, I did just that but the stupid mistake I made was thinking it was a once off endevour. I will tell you something, taking care of yourself is a 24hour job. So much can happen in a blink of an eye and you could find yourself heading down yet another path that does nothing to grow you or change you for the better. That's nothing to feel ashamed of. Life happens while you are busy making plans.

Now these plans often include and/or involve those closest to you. That's very normal. However, when your perfectly laid up plans crumble and leaving you feeling stupid, what you should have been aware of is that everyone is busy making their own plans as well. Just because theirs don't include you makes you no less important. You still are that amazing person and all you have to do is remind yourself that before they came into your life, you still knew how to breath. You still had a beating heart and this disappointment will pass. Bad news, nothing last forever.  Good news, nothing lasts forever.

That's just how it goes. Simply because someone is unwilling to give you what you deserve and show you your worth does NOT mean you have to settle for less yo nothing. I'll be straight with you: that is pathetic behaviour. You can not expect them to respect you while you willingly submit to being their option and not the priority. Disrespecting yourself by turning a blind eye to all the wrongs they subject you to WILL NEVER make them respect you. So sweetheart, hard as it is to waltz away, imagine all the chances and opportunities you are setting free by simply hanging onto a situation that has long stopped serving you.

It is never too late to love yourself enough to want what is good for you. If you want respect from the next person, you have to earn it by first respecting the only person who stuck by you from the very beginning. Look into the mirror. That's the only person who comes first. Be selfish boo. Do you.

Love from
Liyah Jan

WILL RETURN

so i took some time off to be with me. just a small step in the self-discovery journey i'm in right now. i will not lie and say it has been easy. it has been very hard and disruptions in my life are the very proof of it. but hey, that is how we grow as humans. at least now i've embraced my humanity in every possiblle form and i'm not running from my pain anymore. shrinks exist for a reason and i have just discovered that and oh how grateful i am that there are people who exist just to listen to our crap and not even disclose any of the info you tell them no matter how vile. oh and they don't judge. thats the best part. im typing this from the school's computer lab. with a smirk on my face. i got this. and yes, i will someday share it all with you as soon as it's all over. lols. you gotta love being me. when you read that, yopu will see what i mean. for now, the entries are just in my diary and in my shrink's head. however, i plan to write a tell-all book to divulge everything to the world. and i know my story is one to inspire a lot of people. even those with hearts made of steel. for now i'm just looking after myself and i cant wait for my session tomorrow at 10:00am.  

with that said, until next time

.

.

BLEED

You know the pain of losing someone who means everything to you. You
can relate to this song.

BLEED.mp3

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Bleed

It seems in vain
When I feel this pain
Of the ground tearing through my veins
The blood I bled
Left stains of red
Leaving traces of me on earth
I can't swallow my pride
And watch you go

I cannot believe that you are gone
Got the tears streaming down my face
I'm begging don't leave me I'm so lost
Baby don't watch me bleed*2 alone
Don't watch me bleed

Scars in my soul
The heart you broke
Still thinks you can make it whole
So what you bruised me
My soul's what you killed
But guess what it doesn't matter
I can't swallow my pride
And watch you go

I cannot believe that you are gone
Got the tears streaming down my face
(Got my make up messed up on my face)
I'm begging don't leave me I'm so lost
Baby don't watch me bleed*2 alone
Don't watch me bleed

You took everything
That meant everything to me

I cannot believe that you are gone
Got my make up messed up on my face
I'm begging don't leave me I'm so lost
Baby don't watch me bleed*2 alone
Don't watch me bleed

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Sick And Tired

Maybe there's only one reason I'm blocked. My inability to free my conscience of all the dark secrets I carry around with me everywhere I go. For the life of me, why isn't there even one soul I can share these with. Just to let it out and vent. Just to say it out loud and not repeat it in my head over and over because truth be told, it is driving me crazy.
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Transparent

12:49am and I'm still awake. Thinking. Of all the things I became a part of and all the heartbreak and razor-sharp scrutiny I still walk through every passing day. And looking back, I can proudly say there's no other 25 year old who has faced so much in life with so much strength, perseverance and grace that I have shown in those trying times. There were nights when I'd awake with so much pain in my heart which, made me wonder how it was biologically possible for me to still be alive. To hurt in places I didn't even know existed inside me. And amid it all, I realise that I never, not even once, asked God to grand me death.

I cried when I needed to but surprisingly most times I found a smile on my face. I know not how but whenever those moments shone on me, I embraced them. And bit by bit, my smiles became real and came often without even trying. In my journey, I'm still a student of life and it's teaching me that everything happens for a reason. Every little thing that occurs is simply a part of something bigger than what it seems and regardless of how hurtful your situation is, if you peel off a few layers off of it, you may find that it is in fact, simply a blessing in disguise. Truth may be an absolute stranger but I have also learned not to fight one too many battles with time for all answers shall be unveiled when the time is right and all I did and still do is pray to God that he grants me patience.

I have also learned that you can't go through life with hang-ups. Deal with every problem armed with patience and if nothing seems to go your way, just leave it to God. The losses and the void you feel in your soul when you think of what could have been are simply signs that you are human. A human of blood and flesh and why would you even expect yourself to be immune to normal feelings? When sleep evades your nights endlessly and all you can do is think that God is not listening, how can you not look around you and count all of the little blessings?

I have learned the true meaning of what it is to selflessly love...to give yourself whole-heartedly into someone. It is an ugly cruise with no still waters and as much as every step is excruciating and blood is spilled, it is worth every drop. I learned the hard way never to let a problem to be solved be more important that a person to be loved. I know, I'm not this person, at least I wasn't. But having grown up and having dealt with tons of destructions, I am content with whatever little God has given me and as for what He took from me, I cannot fight Him. I may not understand it all yet, but I know when He wants me to have answers, He will let me know.

For everything that I had to pass through in the past academic year, I have no regrets. I have no hang-ups. Everything worked out the way it was meant to be. All my trials made me stronger than ever. My little sister is graduating, I'm so proud of her. As for me, I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be and I'm ready to rock this academic year. I am grateful to have such amazing people in my life, my mom, my grandma, my sis, my dad. And of course, Khotso.

This is gonna be FUN!!! :) :)

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How to turn his T into a Dress

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TRUE COLOURS

You can not live your life in fear of what could be. That will spin you off in a circle and before the end of it all, you're back where you started. Life is a series of surprises which are the reason we keep pushing forward, eager to at least possess a certain degree of control over our destinies and it can not always end up the way you want it to. If it did, where would be the fun in that?

True, some situations trap you in a magnetic field of self-doubt, and if while going through the pages of history you realise no one ever made it out alive, you may feel there is indeed no way out. But there always is. Only if you get out of your very own mental prison and explore that which no one ever tried. That which they all feared. You could find your answers in that forbidden trip of change. Finding success in life is achieved through facing your deepest fears.

If somebody tells you that you will fail,
you WILL fail if you believe them. It is not everyone in your life that wishes you the very best. Some of them just say you will fail because it scares them that you will succeed and best them. They see you as competition and they can not stomach the idea of you ever being more than they are. In the end it all melts down to one thing: Agenda.

Some of the very close people to you have been wishing for you to never make it. The very person whose shoulder you cry on could be patting your back with a smile. They might even have had a hand in the events that led to your misfortune, who knows? Whenever something goes right in your life, whoever is there, genuinely there will walk through it with you. They will not just utter the words "I'm happy for you" and never show their face again.

Those who do that can not stand to see you happy but once you hit rock bottom, they will be there all the time. Why? Because nothing gives them greater pleasure than seeing you at your lowest. People aren't always who they say they are. Friends could be enemies. Even family. Especially Family. Just be careful who you open up to. They could use it against you for their own gain. Just remember not to let anyone ever stand between you and your dreams/happiness.

Take Care

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To Kris: Valentine's Day Special

I remember clearly. It was a thursday afternoon and I was at Pioneer Mall, Ster Kinekor. With *Paris and *Lisa. Rock of Ages was just what we needed. A musical for grown ups and Mary J's voice is always on point. I was I little behind when we left and outside, that's when I saw Lisa with him.

She was all blushes and for the life of me, I couldn't understand why she was feeling a 17yr old. Well, in my defense, he looked like a teenager. So I let her be and went to find Paris. We all wanted to have fun later but we had no friends who had cars. And when Lisa caught up with us, what do you know! The kid she was talking to had a car! And was willing to take us all out. Oh well, we just wanted to party. When he came to meet us, with his friends, he was smelling real good. And I innocently asked for a hug.

Long story short, things went awkward when the kid, let's call him Kris, started hitting on me and completely ignored Lisa. Made me uncomfortable because even though she was Paris' friend and not mine, I wasn't immune to the pain she was feeling while she watched us. And for some reason, I got really jealous when they disappeared for about an hour. But then I brushed it aside.

Meloling, Litaleng and Times where we spent most of the night. Then back to Roma. I busied myself with my Blackberry all night for unlike Lisa and Paris, I had no hook up. The available guys just didn't cut it for me. Solo was the only option. And the toxic relationship I was in was taking its toll on me. I ended up taking his number at the end of the night. Blame Paris for that. And I called him the following day.

And that night I was with him. And he started calling me everyday, all day. It was good for me because it helped me forget the other guy and Kris was taking me to fancy places and beautiful landscapes and all that and even though we were both not looking for a relationship, what we felt was beyond us. A week after we met, he asked me out. I was scared to accept but he made a good case so he won. Then a day later, we had tattoos. I know what you thinking. But they were different and not chained. Ha!

Then we travelled around the country for that's what his work requires of him. I loved his confidence and charisma and how he wasn't ever afraid to let me shine. He accepted me for who I was and only changed me for the better. Then my father knew about us. Hell broke loose but I knew there was nothing he could say that would change my mind. So we went on. And the first time that I broke his heart, I felt every ounce of pain he felt and that was the worst week ever. He ended things and my mom was able to get him to talk to me about it, and we made it through.

Then one of his colleagues just couldn't accept that Kris was into me because I'd broken one of his friend's heart. Well it wasn't my fault that his friend knew nothing about women. And that he had his own issues I didn't wanna get involved in. In short, he was a total disappointment in all aspects. Too bad he was into me. I know. I sound like a snob. But that's how it went down. This colleague and his friend did and said everything they could to get Kris to leave me. But he never did. He stayed with me. Until they gave up. After months and months of scheming.

Now when we fight, it's never about the 3rd person. And we always find a way to make up before we sleep. He works hard, he's intelligent and caring...I could go all night. Kris is my soulmate. And the only way he's changed is that now he loves me more than he did when it all began. And I love him just as much. Wedding bells anyone? Hahaha! Who knows!

And tomorrow's Valentine's Day. Kris, I love you. And thank you for the role you've played in my life and the life of someone very close to me. Thank you for putting up with me and my complex personalities. Happy Valentine's Day.

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The Vicious Cycle

Love. How much more does one have to be subjected to stories of love? When will love ever have guarantees? A promise that it will never fade no matter what. Just something for hopeless romantics to hold onto through the tests life constantly keeps throwing our way. So that everyone will, for the first time since the inception of time, be proud to be a victim of love. To smile whenever they are called fools for love.

Sometimes things take off on a high note. And at that level, you can't help but feel like a champion gladiator, fearless in the Great Arena. There is nothing you feel you can not conquer. Anybody who comes by with words of wisdom is a nothing but a creature green with envy. Yes, life is that good.

The world is at your feet. You are self-conceited with power of unimaginable nature and nothing could ever knock you off your high horse. Closer to the sun you soar and the fact that your wings are waxen, is just a distant memory. The warmth in your heart becomes an unbearable amount of heat. Of course, you're familiar with the phrase "If You Can't Take The Heat, Get Out Of The Kitchen". But then it's too late and you waned already. Diminished into a rubble of dirt only worthy of pity.

Pieces of you are scattered unevenly across the globe and every step in the journey of piling them together is a pain so excruciating that it wouldn't shock you if the process were to take a complete lifetime. And you continue to wane, still. You go to sleep at night with a heavy heart. Praying incessantly that in the morning, it will all be over. Only to have your entire night filled with nightmares of your agony. And when you wake, you take a deep breath, thank the Lord that it was all a dream....

And that's when it hits you again. Like a thousand bolts of lightning...you realise, it's not a dream. And it begins again. Day after day. Night after night. Until death, seems the only beauty on earth. The only sweet escape...
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My Fav TV Shows

Entertainment. Yap! I thought we could use a break from all the serious stuff. After all, it's Xmas break and nobody wants to talk about school or work. I know I don't. So, this is from my perspective...but I'm pretty good at this so...you should definitely be on the lookout for:

-The Vampire Diaries
Of course, the show is on its 5th season. That should say much. It's awesome. And you got a lot of eyecandy in there. Vampires are hott. And that said, what are you waiting for?

-Devious Maids
These maids will rock you. Trust me, these Latinas will take you through their daily journeys of cleaning and looking after rich people's homes in Beverly Hills while they hide their own personal agendas. The fights between them and their daily bosses will keep you entertained. You need to watch this. Can't wait for the 2nd Season!

-Dracula
I know vampires are everywhere but this is about to take the whole vamp-thing to the next level. It's basically Alexandre Dumas' The Count Of Monte Cristo. Except the count here is a vampire. And it's epic. I love those settings that just take you back in time.

-Reign
Still on the epic tip, this is a story about Mary, the 15yo queen of Scotland. The English want her crown and country. To protect it, she must go to France and wed its next king. But there are a lot of obstacles along the way, including the fact that the queen of France will do anything to make sure the union doesn't come to pass. And the 9th episode is oh-so-heartwrenching.

-House Of Lies
On a business tip, Marty Kahn and his team of consultants will keep you coming back for more. This is one of the best shows ever. Trust me. It is funny, sexy, electrifying. This is a must-have.

-The Originals
It's a spin-off of The Vampire Diaries and no one wants to miss the story of The Originals. The impulsive Klaus and his brother Elijah and his sister Rebekah. The Mikhaelsons are not to be missed. And in my opinion, this show may be a spin-off but it's better that The Vampire Diaries.

-Witches Of East End
Everyone loves a bit of magic. And the storyline is quite intriguing. Don't trust anyone.

-DaVinci's Demons
We've all heard about the mad-genius that's is Leornado. He painted the Mona Lisa. He invented a lot of things and his story is nothing short of intrigue.

-Gossip Girl
Of course the show ended but it was one helluva ride. Set in Manhattan and circles around Serena and Blair, get ready to witness the hardships of friendship.

-Downton Abbey
What can I say? I'm a suCker for epics. And the drama in this one is EPIC! Set in the early 20th century, you are going to luuuuurv the british accent among many things.

Let the summa. Officially begin! YAY!
:( cus I'm only beginning my exams tomorrow.

Oh and if you want to know how you can get all these, contact me on (liyahdubraxy@gmail.com)
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Introducing Axo-Mind

Someday soon you will all know who this young artist is. No doubt he's talented. Now I'm giving u a taste of what he is about. Nothing short of perfection but something a little different from his usual stuff. You know what they say. Change is good. And with this piece, I totally agree.

CASSIE

She dressed in all black like an undertaker/
And frankly, I'm taken; this aint no story I made up/

She thick and light/
My heart begins to pound faster; I think she enhances its life/

Illuminated smile; shines brighter than the milky way/
I felt that sweat drip as she walked my way/

At that moment I question myself,"WHO IS SHE?"

I couldn't help it but say hi/
She didn't even waste no time/
"Excuse me handsome,do you have a ride?/
I told her,"nah! My 2 series' working just fine"/
(Giggles)
She winked; came close and whispered something in my ear/
From the smile, you could bet I'm loving what I hear/

587214 twenty/
"Wait girl,is you playing me?"/
She told me,"call the number and tell me if I'm gaming"/

So I hit that dial button/
I see her diggin in her bag looking for something/
She takes it out; its an Iphone and its buzzin/

She shows it to me, and it has my picture and my name/
(How did she get my number and my pic; let alone the name?)
Told me she likes me and it aint even about the fame/

That question hit me again, "WHO IS SHE?"

So we take a lift down to the food court; and I'm thinking, "we already down with each other, do we really need a lift up?"/

We moving to the rhythmas our hearts beat together in line/
We took a seat; eye contact became versatile/

We sat there in silence and let our actions do the talking/
Felt my hand get warmer, only to find out its my hand she's holding/

Couldn't help it but blush/
Beaten at a game of two, like a pair to a royal flush/

She said,"should we grab something to drink or eat?"/
I told her," I'll order something, just sink in your seat"/

So I got up and 10 minutes later I'm back/
Girl's gone but she left her bag pack/

On it there's a note..."You'll find me in the parking lot"/
Rushed; forgetting about the order, and I find one car in the parking spot/

Saw her talking to her girl crew/
Didn't pay much attention to em; I asked myself,"besides driving me crazy, could she be driving this car too?"/

She hollard and asked me to come close/
I stepped up;no introductions, just stood near her, and we asked to pose/
1 2 3 (snap) camera flashing goes/

Friends leave, and she tells me her folks are out of the country/
I said,"so you don't wana be lonely?"/
She said,"yeah, I was hoping you'd come home with me"/

She threw me the keys to her ride and we drove off/
Wanted to hear her heart beat fast so I kept the music off/

MSU West was the destination/
I put that pedal to the metal without hesitating/

For a minute, I heard a voice speak to me, "my son, I've lost one of my angels like a tax haven"/
I looked into her eyes and saw stars; that's when I knew that she from Heaven/

Go to the crib;locked the doors and we up in her room/
Dirty thoughts like two individuals alone in a room should/

Couldn't keep my eyes off her so I maintained my gaze/
Didn't see it coming but she rolling me a blunt of purple haze/

(How'd she know that's my favourite?)

You know what they say..."If she can roll you a blunt, wife her"/
But how do I do that when I don't even know her?"/

So we blowing trees and got high/
And I aint talking about that plane ticket to fly/

So time passes and we kissed/
I don't know why, but they felt like lips I missed/

Heavy breathing; clothes thrown everywhere/
Put that glove on coz I never go into that field without my gear/

So we going crazy on that 4 play; bed's about to crumble/
Everything's wild like Tarzan and Jane making love in the Jungle/

Hours pass and we knocked out/
I'm thinking to myself, "Could this be the right path, coz I'm loving the walk on this route/

Don't know what happened but I felt cold water splash on my face/
Opened my eyes and mum was all up in my face/
(Lol)

"Get up and get ready to chase your dreams"/
"But mum you just ruined one dream I was chasing"/

So I got ready and left the house/
Out to hustle for that master cheese like a mouse/

Same place as in my dream; same time/
I see that girl from my dream and I'm thinking, "could this all be up in my mind?"/

Walked towards her and to my surprise, she was quick to walk to me too/
Before I could even say a word she said, " I had the same dream about you"/

Told me her name was Cassie/
I said to myself,"now I know who this girl is"/
WHO IS SHE??
She the girl of my dreams/

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SMiLE

So this morning I'm still in bed and I'm thinking. Of a situation where one is in love with someone who doesn't feel the same about them. No matter how hard you try to please them, they can not be with you. But you watch them as they stay, trying each day to make things work, but nothing seems to help.

You walk around on eggshells and you are both willing victims of an awfully unhappily hurtful situation. If you leave, you will both hurt. And if you stay, you will still hurt. It's a dilemma. And nobody wants to be the one to walk and leave scars behind. You care about each other just to much but....truth be told...YOU ARE MISERABLE.

So you finally make a decision. You see how hard this person is trying to be what you need. And you see how bad it pains their very soul to not be what you want. And as much as it hurts, you have to set them free. Because you love them too much to keep them from finding love and being happy in their lives...I know...it's sad. So I wrote this song. And if you are in this situation, you will be fine. Show the world your SMILE.

SMILE (30 Nov 2013)

I've always been the one to try
To make everything work each time
And I can't hold u here against ur will
I will commit no such crime
I see u're unhappy
And I should loosen my grip
Let u freely chase ur dream
And so....

Sail away and I will stay
Behind as I wave u goodbye for the last time
No matter what I will be okay
I hope u find everything
Ur heart could not find in me and all the laughter that life could bring
...the world will see my smile

Taking all that's left of me
Picking up each lonely piece
I guess we were never meant to be
With all the jars I filled with my tears
I can't stand back and watch as you bleed
I know u tried but can't be what I need
I see u're unhappy
And I should loosen my grip
Let u freely chase ur dream
And so....

Sail away and I will stay
Behind as I wave u goodbye for the last time
No matter what I will be okay
I hope u find everything
Ur heart could not find in me and all the laughter that life could bring
...the world will see my smile

I'm waving u goodbye...for the last time
I promise I'll be fine....I know that I'll find
Everything I couldn't find in you
It's okay baby

Sail away and I will stay
Behind as I wave u goodbye for the last time
No matter what I will be okay
I hope u find everything
Ur heart could not find in me and all the laughter that life could bring
...the world will see my smile

****END****

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INNER VOICE

We need friends. Life would sure be lonely without them. Some are fake while some are real. Or so you believe. Thing is nothing is ever as it seems. You never know. Shakespeare explored the whole concept of mistaken identity in a number of his plays and even now in the 21st century we still face the same.

You never come to know someone completely. It does not count if you've known the person for life or if they are your identical twin. They could always say something and mean the complete opposite. When it comes to needing advice, listen, you probably should just suck it up and shut up.

Your very best friend could be dancing to the beat of your troubles and your piece of mind could mean their misery. They could be eyeing what belongs to you and they will stop at nothing till they have it. They will turn your family against you if they have to. In one of my previous posts I said that it's ok to tell someone a secret, that it makes you feel better. True. But the increasing number of fake people is alarming.

You aren't really without an armor. There's hope. You know, that little voice in your head that tells you the difference between right and wrong? Yes, that. Call it instinct, intuition or whatever you want. That, is all you have as a defence mode. Trust it. And whenever you feel that something is not right, no matter how many people blame that feeling on paranoia, you will know. Your inner voice will always be there to guide you. As your only true friend.

X0X0
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Truth : The Missing Factor

Imagine being a witch. All that power. Controlling everything around you. Even time. Freezing that one last minute till you manage to finish your exam. Telepathy and the likes. Vampires. Moving at that speed and possessing that strength. Frozen in time and never having to frown at the sight of a single wrinkle. Imagine.

How many times has each of you seen a fantasy thriller? The Vampire Diaries, perhaps? I for one haven't missed a single episode. There are others too. Twilight. Once Upon A time. The Originals. Grimm. The Avengers.....oh how I would love to be a goddess.

This list is endless and it is composed of what we find entertaining. At times I'm compelled to be on Plato's side. "If literature constitutes nothing from which you can learn, it should be destroyed." Kannete I'm beginning to comprehend why he said that. Look at Avator. That James Cameron movie that broke all records worldwide. Can anyone point out anything they learned from it? All the world did was empty their wallets to go see it. And we constantly do that for the sake of entertainment. I know I do.

And I wonder if anyone ever thought of the children and how exposing them to this will affect them in the long run. It's amazing how I haven't. When I have a 5year old daughter living in the world that revolves around fantasy and totally ignores matters of greater importance. Like global warming. Seeing that the only mark we leave behind is more damage to our planet, would it not be better for us to train the younger generations to care for this world to avoid the possibility of a human apocalypse?

Life is what we make it. True. You can lock yourself up in your house for a lifetime and still have millions of friends. True. Through Facebook and Twitter, we have that advantage. With Photoshop, everyone is beautiful. We have the means to completely re-create the world and make it each one's version of what we want it to be. Our little land of perfection where we are the masters of the universe. And while we indulge in all that, the world as we know it is being damaged because no one dares to face reality. And a few that do, are paid little to no attention.

"Be the change you want to see in the world." How many times have we heard that? But have we ever really done anything about it? Why do we waste time dreaming of a better tomorrow when no one will lift a finger to make any positive change?

I don't remember who said this words but I'll share them with you, "You want to change the world, start with the man in the mirror."

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Yah ne

So my academic day just came to a halt. Ka tla ka borea hee. No one to blame but me.
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Metro

I have friends and acquaintances who personally wouldn't date a guy who minds his looks. All they say is "As long as he's clean, that's all that matters." Hahaha. I can't see not one thing wrong with guys who actually go an extra mile for their looks.

I'd find it awesome if I opened his toilet-bag and found Nivea-for-Men products. Not just Nivea, other brands too. Even Pond's is an awesome brand. Not that man that goes, "No, I'm a man and real men don't do that homo stuff." Like seriously! As your women, we go extra miles to look good. True, you never asked us to but would you like 'Matjale for a girlfriend? No.

So would it really be impossible for you to care about your looks? And no, I'm not saying you should be looking in a mirror every two seconds. That, would be worrying. Smelling like Paco, Gucci or whatever you guys use, it's such a turn on for us. And yes your face matters as well. Taba Li Mahlong anyway. Personal hygiene is a great deal to you. So is it to us. I don't care hore na u Lepantsula or le Hippie or Lejamane.

Long as you take your time to look your best, your lifestyle ain't got to be your excuse. You smoke weed, fine! Just don't come to me all reeking of it. Same goes for cigarettes. All we want is a man who cares for his appearance. Same as you men. Ain't nothing wrong with MetroSexuals and if you think there is, you are a homophobic living thing.

Go metro and watch your woman love you more. Yes, it's a proven technique.

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Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone from Vodacom

Family Guy

So this morning I had a talk with one particular woman. She seems to be in trouble. And her troublesome situation is without doubt one that millions of women face around the globe. I've been there before as well. I can relate.

Men. Good Lord! They go on and on about how complicated women are but somehow they forget about the guy in the mirror. I'll tell you a fact. To a woman, t's totally adorable when a man loves his family and respects his mom...but,(oh yes there's always a catch) there's nothing as disturbing as a guy who goes on and on about his mom. His sister. His lil brother. Telling us how important they are to you and how much you care about them and how you would die for them is TOO MUCH.

We are not stupid. And naturally, we get that you are bound to care for your family. That's the God-assigned job for you as a man. But if you bring the "importance" of your family in every conversation you have with your woman, all you're doing is making her feel that she's not a part of it. Like she's an outsider looking in. Like she doesn't fit in in your life. She'll feel unimportant to the person she holds dear in her heart.

Those are not the feelings you want to drag "the person you love" through. They are brutal and corrosive and damaging to a woman's self-esteem. We want to know that we too, are important to you and that you would die for us. We need to feel so. Forget gender equality, we are a jealous species and if you make us feel like we're competing with someone, it will get ugly. Even if it's your mother. Especially your mother. Let alone your pretty cousins.

For a while I thought it would get better. But it didn't. Then I realised, the best way was the way out. So I walked. And felt better about myself and self-esteem sky-rocketted. It's simple really, women also have families. Some of us are the bread-winners. And we love ours just as you do yours. But we do not find it necessary to throw it in your face at any given moment. Because we want you as our men to know that we need you just as much in our lives. If not more.

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Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone from Vodacom