Old Love Vs New Love

I don't know about you but to me there's nothing as unsettling as falling in love. You spend days on end thinking of the person and when you're with them your mind just trails off into a perfect world in your mind where this person is doing things to you and in the process give this person the impression that your bored because you keep missing everything they say.

You can spend ours with them but hear nothing they say. And even a day at their side feels like a second and you just want them to stay with you some more. Your first thought is of them and your last when you sleep is the same. It's even worse when they have no idea you feel the way you do. Then all you have are fantasies not given a chance to materialize.

You try to keep your composure when around them because you're scared they don't feel the same and even if they tell you they do, it seems too good to be true so you wear an armour around them. And if you're with someone else, this person still gets to you. No matter how much the old love has you bound, the new love will cut deep and still strike a nerve deep within until you have no choice but to fall and fall and fall in love.

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Mother's Little Helpers

*If you haven't seen the movie, get it.

When it comes to telling the truth, one shouldn't subscribe to the confining rules of the tempting sugar-coating principle. Unless you work in a bakery of course.

This post is not about the movie. It's about real-life women who couldn't care less about older men even if you paid them. For some reason, the younger they are, the better. So age ain't nothing but a number, they say.

We all know for a fact that you don't have a voice when your heart makes a choice. The only option you have is to blindly follow its beat. Even if it leads you into a Ben10 Phenomenon. So, I undoubtedly believe that for some, it is love. However, for some, it's just an elusion from the hindering, obnoxiously possessive psychological repression.

It doesn't really give an all-round desirable outcome when you restrain yourself from something you constantly desire. It can only get worse as you begin to feel like a prisoner of solitary confinement. So driven by some magical internal force, thñese women finally raise a white flag and submit to their desires. And we know some of them are very happy.

Then there's another possible reason: the power struggle. It's been a battlefield out there presumably since the inception of time. Men and women struggle for power and none of these parties wants to back down. And from what I hear, what partner is more agreeable and willing to please than a younger one?

Yes, I believe they're easy to control. After all, they have a certain degree of respect owing to the age gap. Don't they? These women are simply classified as control freaks. They probably have a significant male figure in their lives that treats them like dirt and they want a man who will pay for that. Be it their boss, brother, uncle...etc. Lol. "Ha e iphetetse ka eo e e hlabileng"
Sorry I have no idea how to translate that.

Which reminds me, guys, be very careful of women with Daddy Issues. Trust me, you WILL pay for their fathers' sins.

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3, 285 Long Days

There are a billion moments in my life when everything just takes the wrong shape and with every lesson life forced me to learn, I still never find solutions to most of the problems I encounter. I don't get it, I have had to play so many roles in my lifetime but I swear sometimes everything just feels so new.

It would be an absolute lie if I said I'm alright. If I said, I finally understand that you'd served your purpose in life and you were ready to leave. No. I was 15 and I needed you more than ever. I remember...feeling like my heart had stopped. Then shutting all emotion down and going to school the next day like all was well. Only to break down in class and I swear to God I thought the tears would never stop.

Fast-forward to 9years later, I'm in my bed. Thinking of you. Watching IceAge3 with my daughter, someone you have yet to meet. And she keeps hugging and kissing me, as if she can see through my smile. I miss you Mom. And even though I'm not completely fine, at least now I'm not a wreck as compared to the past years. Instead I'm looking back at all the good times we had with a smile.

Yes, I miss you. It's only natural.

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Anticipation Ends

So, if I have something that I know you want, and I tell you to be patient, and keep reciting to you lines such as "Rome wasn't built in a day", what happens when days pass and weeks then months and eventually years? Does the desire to possess that something grow greater or diminish to absolute nothingness with time?

It's just like wanting to be with somebody who keeps pushing you away. It tears at your heart with every failed attempt to connect. Eventually the pain wears off and you begin to feel comfortable where this person puts you. To a point where even if they change their minds and want to "award" you that chance, it only serves as the long-awaited pathway to your unhindered freedom. Trust me.

Feelings of wanting something so bad, regardless of whether it is material or emotional or physical, do have an end. And as for why people have to wait to have something that's already within reach, still puzzles me. Denying someone something you know they really want just to keep them on the hook will absolutely work. Each time guaranteed. But trust me, if you hold back for too long, they lose interest and eventually don't care at all...

That said, this life is too short to deny one a chance of happiness and fulfilment. Live it to the full so even if you die today, you have no regrets as you walk into the light.

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R.I.P Little Princess

This morning not far from my home, a 2year old baby girl burned to death in her home while her mother went out to fetch some water. I'll save the detailed story for the newspapers. After all, I'm not a journalist. I'm a mother. And my heart goes out to the mother of this baby. I have no words enough to console her over her loss except to keep her in my prayers. I pray that she recovers from her heartache and that she leaves the hospital bed soon.

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CyberLove

So the social networks have taken over our social lives. Me for example, I have very few friends. Not more than 5 I'm sure. And most are always far and those near are just 2. For a person who loves privacy and own-time, that shouldn't be a problem. So I don't really mind.

Except when I'm with my room-mate(one of the two friends I have) Lerato and I realise that she has tons of friends whom she can hang with at clubs and such places. That shouldn't be a problem either because lately I don't go out much unless she drags me out of the house(literally). Facebook was one place I made tons of frenemies. It was fun. "Was" because I'm not there anymore and please don't ask why.

Then there are people who tirelessly search for love on these networks. Some are lonely souls and probably not accepted by society. So they create new identities and paint a whole new picture of who they are for their cyber-friends. Some just want diversion. A taste of something different from what they already have in their lives. And while some may confine their cyber-relationships just there on the internet, some choose otherwise and really go the extra mile to meet them in flesh. Then we have trouble brewing.

So what happens when they meet these people? What if they really like them? Can they fight it and remain true to their partners? Now we all know if there's something one can't run and hide from, it's love. And I do know quite a few of people who fell in love on the net. And they are still going strong at it. If you're happy and you know it, then do your best to stay away from these networks because you'll never know who's waiting for you there and before you know it, they could whisk you away even if you do your best to resist.

There's really no need to invite temptation in your life. You could lose a diamond simply because you chose to pick stones.

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When Cupid Misses The Heart And The Arrow Hit The Wall

I haven't always been straight with people. I look back at the things I did to some people with great regret and somewhere in a dark corner is a heap of bones of skeletons from my past. Some totally didn't deserve all my dramatics. Some totally did.

Don't act shocked. Even you know exactly what I mean. Yes you been there and you know what it's like to put someone on the edge of a cliff and be faced with the options of pulling them back and sending them over. And you know whichever choice you make, they're dead anyway.

Might as well toss a coin in the air. Might as well take a gun, put it to their heart and pull the damned trigger. At least that way it will hurt for just a short time and it will all be over. Unlike feeding them a poison and leaving them there to die so slow that by the time they are no more, they've actually died a million deaths in one.

Lost? Ok. What I'm saying is if you feel it's over for you and them, tell them. Point blank like that. Don't go round in circles when you can stick to a straight line. Choosing the circle route aka the poison route: telling them you love them but there're some things you gotta deal with first is just plain mean and inhumane.

Love ends. We know that. Even in marriage it does. That's if it even exists in marriage. Oh well! Then again, that's a topic for another day. Right now what I need to do is apologize to all the people out there I hurt. All of those who didn't have it coming.

Especially you SNUP. It's been years since then and I admire how you took every ounce of hurt with a brave face and still lived on. And still learned to love again. But most of all, thank you for being a true friend even after all that.


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