Saturday, November 21, 2015

SELFISH PAYS

Apologies for leaving you unattended for what feels like forever. I am back and I had stated in the last post that I'd be away taking care of myself, I did just that but the stupid mistake I made was thinking it was a once off endevour. I will tell you something, taking care of yourself is a 24hour job. So much can happen in a blink of an eye and you could find yourself heading down yet another path that does nothing to grow you or change you for the better. That's nothing to feel ashamed of. Life happens while you are busy making plans.

Now these plans often include and/or involve those closest to you. That's very normal. However, when your perfectly laid up plans crumble and leaving you feeling stupid, what you should have been aware of is that everyone is busy making their own plans as well. Just because theirs don't include you makes you no less important. You still are that amazing person and all you have to do is remind yourself that before they came into your life, you still knew how to breath. You still had a beating heart and this disappointment will pass. Bad news, nothing last forever.  Good news, nothing lasts forever.

That's just how it goes. Simply because someone is unwilling to give you what you deserve and show you your worth does NOT mean you have to settle for less yo nothing. I'll be straight with you: that is pathetic behaviour. You can not expect them to respect you while you willingly submit to being their option and not the priority. Disrespecting yourself by turning a blind eye to all the wrongs they subject you to WILL NEVER make them respect you. So sweetheart, hard as it is to waltz away, imagine all the chances and opportunities you are setting free by simply hanging onto a situation that has long stopped serving you.

It is never too late to love yourself enough to want what is good for you. If you want respect from the next person, you have to earn it by first respecting the only person who stuck by you from the very beginning. Look into the mirror. That's the only person who comes first. Be selfish boo. Do you.

Love from
Liyah Jan












Monday, April 13, 2015

WILL RETURN

so i took some time off to be with me. just a small step in the self-discovery journey i'm in right now. i will not lie and say it has been easy. it has been very hard and disruptions in my life are the very proof of it. but hey, that is how we grow as humans. at least now i've embraced my humanity in every possiblle form and i'm not running from my pain anymore. shrinks exist for a reason and i have just discovered that and oh how grateful i am that there are people who exist just to listen to our crap and not even disclose any of the info you tell them no matter how vile. oh and they don't judge. thats the best part. im typing this from the school's computer lab. with a smirk on my face. i got this. and yes, i will someday share it all with you as soon as it's all over. lols. you gotta love being me. when you read that, yopu will see what i mean. for now, the entries are just in my diary and in my shrink's head. however, i plan to write a tell-all book to divulge everything to the world. and i know my story is one to inspire a lot of people. even those with hearts made of steel. for now i'm just looking after myself and i cant wait for my session tomorrow at 10:00am.  

with that said, until next time

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

BLEED

You know the pain of losing someone who means everything to you. You
can relate to this song.

BLEED.mp3

Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone from Vodacom

Bleed

It seems in vain
When I feel this pain
Of the ground tearing through my veins
The blood I bled
Left stains of red
Leaving traces of me on earth
I can't swallow my pride
And watch you go

I cannot believe that you are gone
Got the tears streaming down my face
I'm begging don't leave me I'm so lost
Baby don't watch me bleed*2 alone
Don't watch me bleed

Scars in my soul
The heart you broke
Still thinks you can make it whole
So what you bruised me
My soul's what you killed
But guess what it doesn't matter
I can't swallow my pride
And watch you go

I cannot believe that you are gone
Got the tears streaming down my face
(Got my make up messed up on my face)
I'm begging don't leave me I'm so lost
Baby don't watch me bleed*2 alone
Don't watch me bleed

You took everything
That meant everything to me

I cannot believe that you are gone
Got my make up messed up on my face
I'm begging don't leave me I'm so lost
Baby don't watch me bleed*2 alone
Don't watch me bleed

Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone from Vodacom

Monday, October 20, 2014

Sick And Tired

Maybe there's only one reason I'm blocked. My inability to free my conscience of all the dark secrets I carry around with me everywhere I go. For the life of me, why isn't there even one soul I can share these with. Just to let it out and vent. Just to say it out loud and not repeat it in my head over and over because truth be told, it is driving me crazy.
Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone from Vodacom