The Vicious Cycle

Love. How much more does one have to be subjected to stories of love? When will love ever have guarantees? A promise that it will never fade no matter what. Just something for hopeless romantics to hold onto through the tests life constantly keeps throwing our way. So that everyone will, for the first time since the inception of time, be proud to be a victim of love. To smile whenever they are called fools for love.

Sometimes things take off on a high note. And at that level, you can't help but feel like a champion gladiator, fearless in the Great Arena. There is nothing you feel you can not conquer. Anybody who comes by with words of wisdom is a nothing but a creature green with envy. Yes, life is that good.

The world is at your feet. You are self-conceited with power of unimaginable nature and nothing could ever knock you off your high horse. Closer to the sun you soar and the fact that your wings are waxen, is just a distant memory. The warmth in your heart becomes an unbearable amount of heat. Of course, you're familiar with the phrase "If You Can't Take The Heat, Get Out Of The Kitchen". But then it's too late and you waned already. Diminished into a rubble of dirt only worthy of pity.

Pieces of you are scattered unevenly across the globe and every step in the journey of piling them together is a pain so excruciating that it wouldn't shock you if the process were to take a complete lifetime. And you continue to wane, still. You go to sleep at night with a heavy heart. Praying incessantly that in the morning, it will all be over. Only to have your entire night filled with nightmares of your agony. And when you wake, you take a deep breath, thank the Lord that it was all a dream....

And that's when it hits you again. Like a thousand bolts of lightning...you realise, it's not a dream. And it begins again. Day after day. Night after night. Until death, seems the only beauty on earth. The only sweet escape...
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My Fav TV Shows

Entertainment. Yap! I thought we could use a break from all the serious stuff. After all, it's Xmas break and nobody wants to talk about school or work. I know I don't. So, this is from my perspective...but I'm pretty good at this so...you should definitely be on the lookout for:

-The Vampire Diaries
Of course, the show is on its 5th season. That should say much. It's awesome. And you got a lot of eyecandy in there. Vampires are hott. And that said, what are you waiting for?

-Devious Maids
These maids will rock you. Trust me, these Latinas will take you through their daily journeys of cleaning and looking after rich people's homes in Beverly Hills while they hide their own personal agendas. The fights between them and their daily bosses will keep you entertained. You need to watch this. Can't wait for the 2nd Season!

-Dracula
I know vampires are everywhere but this is about to take the whole vamp-thing to the next level. It's basically Alexandre Dumas' The Count Of Monte Cristo. Except the count here is a vampire. And it's epic. I love those settings that just take you back in time.

-Reign
Still on the epic tip, this is a story about Mary, the 15yo queen of Scotland. The English want her crown and country. To protect it, she must go to France and wed its next king. But there are a lot of obstacles along the way, including the fact that the queen of France will do anything to make sure the union doesn't come to pass. And the 9th episode is oh-so-heartwrenching.

-House Of Lies
On a business tip, Marty Kahn and his team of consultants will keep you coming back for more. This is one of the best shows ever. Trust me. It is funny, sexy, electrifying. This is a must-have.

-The Originals
It's a spin-off of The Vampire Diaries and no one wants to miss the story of The Originals. The impulsive Klaus and his brother Elijah and his sister Rebekah. The Mikhaelsons are not to be missed. And in my opinion, this show may be a spin-off but it's better that The Vampire Diaries.

-Witches Of East End
Everyone loves a bit of magic. And the storyline is quite intriguing. Don't trust anyone.

-DaVinci's Demons
We've all heard about the mad-genius that's is Leornado. He painted the Mona Lisa. He invented a lot of things and his story is nothing short of intrigue.

-Gossip Girl
Of course the show ended but it was one helluva ride. Set in Manhattan and circles around Serena and Blair, get ready to witness the hardships of friendship.

-Downton Abbey
What can I say? I'm a suCker for epics. And the drama in this one is EPIC! Set in the early 20th century, you are going to luuuuurv the british accent among many things.

Let the summa. Officially begin! YAY!
:( cus I'm only beginning my exams tomorrow.

Oh and if you want to know how you can get all these, contact me on (liyahdubraxy@gmail.com)
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Introducing Axo-Mind

Someday soon you will all know who this young artist is. No doubt he's talented. Now I'm giving u a taste of what he is about. Nothing short of perfection but something a little different from his usual stuff. You know what they say. Change is good. And with this piece, I totally agree.

CASSIE

She dressed in all black like an undertaker/
And frankly, I'm taken; this aint no story I made up/

She thick and light/
My heart begins to pound faster; I think she enhances its life/

Illuminated smile; shines brighter than the milky way/
I felt that sweat drip as she walked my way/

At that moment I question myself,"WHO IS SHE?"

I couldn't help it but say hi/
She didn't even waste no time/
"Excuse me handsome,do you have a ride?/
I told her,"nah! My 2 series' working just fine"/
(Giggles)
She winked; came close and whispered something in my ear/
From the smile, you could bet I'm loving what I hear/

587214 twenty/
"Wait girl,is you playing me?"/
She told me,"call the number and tell me if I'm gaming"/

So I hit that dial button/
I see her diggin in her bag looking for something/
She takes it out; its an Iphone and its buzzin/

She shows it to me, and it has my picture and my name/
(How did she get my number and my pic; let alone the name?)
Told me she likes me and it aint even about the fame/

That question hit me again, "WHO IS SHE?"

So we take a lift down to the food court; and I'm thinking, "we already down with each other, do we really need a lift up?"/

We moving to the rhythmas our hearts beat together in line/
We took a seat; eye contact became versatile/

We sat there in silence and let our actions do the talking/
Felt my hand get warmer, only to find out its my hand she's holding/

Couldn't help it but blush/
Beaten at a game of two, like a pair to a royal flush/

She said,"should we grab something to drink or eat?"/
I told her," I'll order something, just sink in your seat"/

So I got up and 10 minutes later I'm back/
Girl's gone but she left her bag pack/

On it there's a note..."You'll find me in the parking lot"/
Rushed; forgetting about the order, and I find one car in the parking spot/

Saw her talking to her girl crew/
Didn't pay much attention to em; I asked myself,"besides driving me crazy, could she be driving this car too?"/

She hollard and asked me to come close/
I stepped up;no introductions, just stood near her, and we asked to pose/
1 2 3 (snap) camera flashing goes/

Friends leave, and she tells me her folks are out of the country/
I said,"so you don't wana be lonely?"/
She said,"yeah, I was hoping you'd come home with me"/

She threw me the keys to her ride and we drove off/
Wanted to hear her heart beat fast so I kept the music off/

MSU West was the destination/
I put that pedal to the metal without hesitating/

For a minute, I heard a voice speak to me, "my son, I've lost one of my angels like a tax haven"/
I looked into her eyes and saw stars; that's when I knew that she from Heaven/

Go to the crib;locked the doors and we up in her room/
Dirty thoughts like two individuals alone in a room should/

Couldn't keep my eyes off her so I maintained my gaze/
Didn't see it coming but she rolling me a blunt of purple haze/

(How'd she know that's my favourite?)

You know what they say..."If she can roll you a blunt, wife her"/
But how do I do that when I don't even know her?"/

So we blowing trees and got high/
And I aint talking about that plane ticket to fly/

So time passes and we kissed/
I don't know why, but they felt like lips I missed/

Heavy breathing; clothes thrown everywhere/
Put that glove on coz I never go into that field without my gear/

So we going crazy on that 4 play; bed's about to crumble/
Everything's wild like Tarzan and Jane making love in the Jungle/

Hours pass and we knocked out/
I'm thinking to myself, "Could this be the right path, coz I'm loving the walk on this route/

Don't know what happened but I felt cold water splash on my face/
Opened my eyes and mum was all up in my face/
(Lol)

"Get up and get ready to chase your dreams"/
"But mum you just ruined one dream I was chasing"/

So I got ready and left the house/
Out to hustle for that master cheese like a mouse/

Same place as in my dream; same time/
I see that girl from my dream and I'm thinking, "could this all be up in my mind?"/

Walked towards her and to my surprise, she was quick to walk to me too/
Before I could even say a word she said, " I had the same dream about you"/

Told me her name was Cassie/
I said to myself,"now I know who this girl is"/
WHO IS SHE??
She the girl of my dreams/

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SMiLE

So this morning I'm still in bed and I'm thinking. Of a situation where one is in love with someone who doesn't feel the same about them. No matter how hard you try to please them, they can not be with you. But you watch them as they stay, trying each day to make things work, but nothing seems to help.

You walk around on eggshells and you are both willing victims of an awfully unhappily hurtful situation. If you leave, you will both hurt. And if you stay, you will still hurt. It's a dilemma. And nobody wants to be the one to walk and leave scars behind. You care about each other just to much but....truth be told...YOU ARE MISERABLE.

So you finally make a decision. You see how hard this person is trying to be what you need. And you see how bad it pains their very soul to not be what you want. And as much as it hurts, you have to set them free. Because you love them too much to keep them from finding love and being happy in their lives...I know...it's sad. So I wrote this song. And if you are in this situation, you will be fine. Show the world your SMILE.

SMILE (30 Nov 2013)

I've always been the one to try
To make everything work each time
And I can't hold u here against ur will
I will commit no such crime
I see u're unhappy
And I should loosen my grip
Let u freely chase ur dream
And so....

Sail away and I will stay
Behind as I wave u goodbye for the last time
No matter what I will be okay
I hope u find everything
Ur heart could not find in me and all the laughter that life could bring
...the world will see my smile

Taking all that's left of me
Picking up each lonely piece
I guess we were never meant to be
With all the jars I filled with my tears
I can't stand back and watch as you bleed
I know u tried but can't be what I need
I see u're unhappy
And I should loosen my grip
Let u freely chase ur dream
And so....

Sail away and I will stay
Behind as I wave u goodbye for the last time
No matter what I will be okay
I hope u find everything
Ur heart could not find in me and all the laughter that life could bring
...the world will see my smile

I'm waving u goodbye...for the last time
I promise I'll be fine....I know that I'll find
Everything I couldn't find in you
It's okay baby

Sail away and I will stay
Behind as I wave u goodbye for the last time
No matter what I will be okay
I hope u find everything
Ur heart could not find in me and all the laughter that life could bring
...the world will see my smile

****END****

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INNER VOICE

We need friends. Life would sure be lonely without them. Some are fake while some are real. Or so you believe. Thing is nothing is ever as it seems. You never know. Shakespeare explored the whole concept of mistaken identity in a number of his plays and even now in the 21st century we still face the same.

You never come to know someone completely. It does not count if you've known the person for life or if they are your identical twin. They could always say something and mean the complete opposite. When it comes to needing advice, listen, you probably should just suck it up and shut up.

Your very best friend could be dancing to the beat of your troubles and your piece of mind could mean their misery. They could be eyeing what belongs to you and they will stop at nothing till they have it. They will turn your family against you if they have to. In one of my previous posts I said that it's ok to tell someone a secret, that it makes you feel better. True. But the increasing number of fake people is alarming.

You aren't really without an armor. There's hope. You know, that little voice in your head that tells you the difference between right and wrong? Yes, that. Call it instinct, intuition or whatever you want. That, is all you have as a defence mode. Trust it. And whenever you feel that something is not right, no matter how many people blame that feeling on paranoia, you will know. Your inner voice will always be there to guide you. As your only true friend.

X0X0
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Truth : The Missing Factor

Imagine being a witch. All that power. Controlling everything around you. Even time. Freezing that one last minute till you manage to finish your exam. Telepathy and the likes. Vampires. Moving at that speed and possessing that strength. Frozen in time and never having to frown at the sight of a single wrinkle. Imagine.

How many times has each of you seen a fantasy thriller? The Vampire Diaries, perhaps? I for one haven't missed a single episode. There are others too. Twilight. Once Upon A time. The Originals. Grimm. The Avengers.....oh how I would love to be a goddess.

This list is endless and it is composed of what we find entertaining. At times I'm compelled to be on Plato's side. "If literature constitutes nothing from which you can learn, it should be destroyed." Kannete I'm beginning to comprehend why he said that. Look at Avator. That James Cameron movie that broke all records worldwide. Can anyone point out anything they learned from it? All the world did was empty their wallets to go see it. And we constantly do that for the sake of entertainment. I know I do.

And I wonder if anyone ever thought of the children and how exposing them to this will affect them in the long run. It's amazing how I haven't. When I have a 5year old daughter living in the world that revolves around fantasy and totally ignores matters of greater importance. Like global warming. Seeing that the only mark we leave behind is more damage to our planet, would it not be better for us to train the younger generations to care for this world to avoid the possibility of a human apocalypse?

Life is what we make it. True. You can lock yourself up in your house for a lifetime and still have millions of friends. True. Through Facebook and Twitter, we have that advantage. With Photoshop, everyone is beautiful. We have the means to completely re-create the world and make it each one's version of what we want it to be. Our little land of perfection where we are the masters of the universe. And while we indulge in all that, the world as we know it is being damaged because no one dares to face reality. And a few that do, are paid little to no attention.

"Be the change you want to see in the world." How many times have we heard that? But have we ever really done anything about it? Why do we waste time dreaming of a better tomorrow when no one will lift a finger to make any positive change?

I don't remember who said this words but I'll share them with you, "You want to change the world, start with the man in the mirror."

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Yah ne

So my academic day just came to a halt. Ka tla ka borea hee. No one to blame but me.
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Metro

I have friends and acquaintances who personally wouldn't date a guy who minds his looks. All they say is "As long as he's clean, that's all that matters." Hahaha. I can't see not one thing wrong with guys who actually go an extra mile for their looks.

I'd find it awesome if I opened his toilet-bag and found Nivea-for-Men products. Not just Nivea, other brands too. Even Pond's is an awesome brand. Not that man that goes, "No, I'm a man and real men don't do that homo stuff." Like seriously! As your women, we go extra miles to look good. True, you never asked us to but would you like 'Matjale for a girlfriend? No.

So would it really be impossible for you to care about your looks? And no, I'm not saying you should be looking in a mirror every two seconds. That, would be worrying. Smelling like Paco, Gucci or whatever you guys use, it's such a turn on for us. And yes your face matters as well. Taba Li Mahlong anyway. Personal hygiene is a great deal to you. So is it to us. I don't care hore na u Lepantsula or le Hippie or Lejamane.

Long as you take your time to look your best, your lifestyle ain't got to be your excuse. You smoke weed, fine! Just don't come to me all reeking of it. Same goes for cigarettes. All we want is a man who cares for his appearance. Same as you men. Ain't nothing wrong with MetroSexuals and if you think there is, you are a homophobic living thing.

Go metro and watch your woman love you more. Yes, it's a proven technique.

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Family Guy

So this morning I had a talk with one particular woman. She seems to be in trouble. And her troublesome situation is without doubt one that millions of women face around the globe. I've been there before as well. I can relate.

Men. Good Lord! They go on and on about how complicated women are but somehow they forget about the guy in the mirror. I'll tell you a fact. To a woman, t's totally adorable when a man loves his family and respects his mom...but,(oh yes there's always a catch) there's nothing as disturbing as a guy who goes on and on about his mom. His sister. His lil brother. Telling us how important they are to you and how much you care about them and how you would die for them is TOO MUCH.

We are not stupid. And naturally, we get that you are bound to care for your family. That's the God-assigned job for you as a man. But if you bring the "importance" of your family in every conversation you have with your woman, all you're doing is making her feel that she's not a part of it. Like she's an outsider looking in. Like she doesn't fit in in your life. She'll feel unimportant to the person she holds dear in her heart.

Those are not the feelings you want to drag "the person you love" through. They are brutal and corrosive and damaging to a woman's self-esteem. We want to know that we too, are important to you and that you would die for us. We need to feel so. Forget gender equality, we are a jealous species and if you make us feel like we're competing with someone, it will get ugly. Even if it's your mother. Especially your mother. Let alone your pretty cousins.

For a while I thought it would get better. But it didn't. Then I realised, the best way was the way out. So I walked. And felt better about myself and self-esteem sky-rocketted. It's simple really, women also have families. Some of us are the bread-winners. And we love ours just as you do yours. But we do not find it necessary to throw it in your face at any given moment. Because we want you as our men to know that we need you just as much in our lives. If not more.

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Epiphany

Love is not a choice. It's command. A voice you unwillingly listen to. A driving force within that will lead you to a land where you'll get lost, hurt, tortured, shaken, bent and broken and at the end of it all, you stand tall and say you're in love. With the very same person who pushes you to your limits. The person who turns your world upside down. The person who single-handedly has the power to ruin you....because you still find comfort in their arms. You still see your future in their eyes. And you find love in just the thought of knowing they are there.

That's love.
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Stranger Tides

......then I stepped out of my comfort zone. Musically. Somehow it is paying off and I can't believe people's reaction to the song. I am grateful however. And for those who found something wrong with the track, thanks for your opinions and keep your views coming for it's only through your constructive criticism that I'll grow.

#SupportLocalTalent
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Together We Made It

You were a spark that slowly lit the flame. Steadily, it matured into a bonfire that kept growing and eventually snowballed into a blaze.

I recall our first encounter. Pioneer Mall and you were conversing with an acquaintance of mine. The random exchange of words ended up with me telling you that I'm a lesbian.

So you took her out. Her and her friends. See, my acquaintance didn't see it coming. Neither did I. You with your friends. Me with the acquaintance and a friend. And then your Paco Rabanne caught my nose.

Fast-forward, a year later, we still are. We've done it all. And it's with you I've learned to see life as beautiful. I've seen very breath-taking places with you and our unparalleled appreciation for nature has been a factor that made our travels worthwhile. There's still more places we're going to.

Then at some point I thought we were broken. But no, we were just bent. Took some work and dedication to get us back in shape again. Your patience inspires me to be the best I can be. Honestly, I don't know how you do it. I'm impossible. But because you never give up on me, I know you're for keeps.

I love you. I hope you know that. And even though right now we're waiting in the calm before the storm, this too, shall pass.


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Losing Friends

This doesn't in any way under the sun compare to losing a lover. Because it's never going to be the same. And nothing prepares you for it. It's like running in an open road and then BAM! Out of nowhere, you hit a brick wall. you don't see it coming.

Friends are people you call for any occasion. You wanna go out clubbing? Friends. You wanna go shopping? Friends. You wanna go just mess with people?(Like what me and someone did in Vegas) Friends. And even if you have that someone special in your life, friends are a necessity.

Friends know so much about you! Even those imperfections and bits you'd rather keep from your woman, or man. They've been in your life longer than your partner and it's only natural that they know more. So when they leave....sigh....when they leave you and suddenly become strangers, imagine the pain.

Now they hang with other people at your favourite spots and with them they take away your secrets and one word to the wrong people could destroy you. What do you do?

On the 20th, it was the birthday of one such friend, the lost one. I don't know what happened, things just went left...and being estranged from her hurts. But what can I do, she seems happy. At least I hope she is. For over 20 years we were inseparable, then she got married. Then things changed.

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Below The Surface

On a constant basis, I'm tempted to post exactly what's on my mind. In my heart. But my first thought is "What the hell?" I couldn't possibly. I want that. To just let it all out. Who knows, maybe everything would fall into place. Maybe I'd finally find some clarity. But as usual, I find it best to be the only to know what's in my heart.

I'm an official talkative. That I know. But it always takes more than an effort to talk from the soul. To dig out what's within. Below the surface. To air dirty laundry. I can go on all day talking about "nothing". And in all that, I never forget to wear my armour.

And lately, with everything that's been happening, having important decisions to make, I feel different. I feel grown. I feel I'm ready to conquer my deepest fears. Love has been kind and confusing and downright ridiculous. And in all the emotions it has put me, all that matters is knowing that it exists.

So yes, I'm embracing it. Wholeheartedly. I'll breath it in and not exhale. Until I'm about to burst. I don't have to run. I can just bask in its glory and let it rain on my parade. Yes, I'm in love and have been...for sometime now. And I couldn't be any happier.
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Old Love Vs New Love

I don't know about you but to me there's nothing as unsettling as falling in love. You spend days on end thinking of the person and when you're with them your mind just trails off into a perfect world in your mind where this person is doing things to you and in the process give this person the impression that your bored because you keep missing everything they say.

You can spend ours with them but hear nothing they say. And even a day at their side feels like a second and you just want them to stay with you some more. Your first thought is of them and your last when you sleep is the same. It's even worse when they have no idea you feel the way you do. Then all you have are fantasies not given a chance to materialize.

You try to keep your composure when around them because you're scared they don't feel the same and even if they tell you they do, it seems too good to be true so you wear an armour around them. And if you're with someone else, this person still gets to you. No matter how much the old love has you bound, the new love will cut deep and still strike a nerve deep within until you have no choice but to fall and fall and fall in love.

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Mother's Little Helpers

*If you haven't seen the movie, get it.

When it comes to telling the truth, one shouldn't subscribe to the confining rules of the tempting sugar-coating principle. Unless you work in a bakery of course.

This post is not about the movie. It's about real-life women who couldn't care less about older men even if you paid them. For some reason, the younger they are, the better. So age ain't nothing but a number, they say.

We all know for a fact that you don't have a voice when your heart makes a choice. The only option you have is to blindly follow its beat. Even if it leads you into a Ben10 Phenomenon. So, I undoubtedly believe that for some, it is love. However, for some, it's just an elusion from the hindering, obnoxiously possessive psychological repression.

It doesn't really give an all-round desirable outcome when you restrain yourself from something you constantly desire. It can only get worse as you begin to feel like a prisoner of solitary confinement. So driven by some magical internal force, thñese women finally raise a white flag and submit to their desires. And we know some of them are very happy.

Then there's another possible reason: the power struggle. It's been a battlefield out there presumably since the inception of time. Men and women struggle for power and none of these parties wants to back down. And from what I hear, what partner is more agreeable and willing to please than a younger one?

Yes, I believe they're easy to control. After all, they have a certain degree of respect owing to the age gap. Don't they? These women are simply classified as control freaks. They probably have a significant male figure in their lives that treats them like dirt and they want a man who will pay for that. Be it their boss, brother, uncle...etc. Lol. "Ha e iphetetse ka eo e e hlabileng"
Sorry I have no idea how to translate that.

Which reminds me, guys, be very careful of women with Daddy Issues. Trust me, you WILL pay for their fathers' sins.

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3, 285 Long Days

There are a billion moments in my life when everything just takes the wrong shape and with every lesson life forced me to learn, I still never find solutions to most of the problems I encounter. I don't get it, I have had to play so many roles in my lifetime but I swear sometimes everything just feels so new.

It would be an absolute lie if I said I'm alright. If I said, I finally understand that you'd served your purpose in life and you were ready to leave. No. I was 15 and I needed you more than ever. I remember...feeling like my heart had stopped. Then shutting all emotion down and going to school the next day like all was well. Only to break down in class and I swear to God I thought the tears would never stop.

Fast-forward to 9years later, I'm in my bed. Thinking of you. Watching IceAge3 with my daughter, someone you have yet to meet. And she keeps hugging and kissing me, as if she can see through my smile. I miss you Mom. And even though I'm not completely fine, at least now I'm not a wreck as compared to the past years. Instead I'm looking back at all the good times we had with a smile.

Yes, I miss you. It's only natural.

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Anticipation Ends

So, if I have something that I know you want, and I tell you to be patient, and keep reciting to you lines such as "Rome wasn't built in a day", what happens when days pass and weeks then months and eventually years? Does the desire to possess that something grow greater or diminish to absolute nothingness with time?

It's just like wanting to be with somebody who keeps pushing you away. It tears at your heart with every failed attempt to connect. Eventually the pain wears off and you begin to feel comfortable where this person puts you. To a point where even if they change their minds and want to "award" you that chance, it only serves as the long-awaited pathway to your unhindered freedom. Trust me.

Feelings of wanting something so bad, regardless of whether it is material or emotional or physical, do have an end. And as for why people have to wait to have something that's already within reach, still puzzles me. Denying someone something you know they really want just to keep them on the hook will absolutely work. Each time guaranteed. But trust me, if you hold back for too long, they lose interest and eventually don't care at all...

That said, this life is too short to deny one a chance of happiness and fulfilment. Live it to the full so even if you die today, you have no regrets as you walk into the light.

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R.I.P Little Princess

This morning not far from my home, a 2year old baby girl burned to death in her home while her mother went out to fetch some water. I'll save the detailed story for the newspapers. After all, I'm not a journalist. I'm a mother. And my heart goes out to the mother of this baby. I have no words enough to console her over her loss except to keep her in my prayers. I pray that she recovers from her heartache and that she leaves the hospital bed soon.

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CyberLove

So the social networks have taken over our social lives. Me for example, I have very few friends. Not more than 5 I'm sure. And most are always far and those near are just 2. For a person who loves privacy and own-time, that shouldn't be a problem. So I don't really mind.

Except when I'm with my room-mate(one of the two friends I have) Lerato and I realise that she has tons of friends whom she can hang with at clubs and such places. That shouldn't be a problem either because lately I don't go out much unless she drags me out of the house(literally). Facebook was one place I made tons of frenemies. It was fun. "Was" because I'm not there anymore and please don't ask why.

Then there are people who tirelessly search for love on these networks. Some are lonely souls and probably not accepted by society. So they create new identities and paint a whole new picture of who they are for their cyber-friends. Some just want diversion. A taste of something different from what they already have in their lives. And while some may confine their cyber-relationships just there on the internet, some choose otherwise and really go the extra mile to meet them in flesh. Then we have trouble brewing.

So what happens when they meet these people? What if they really like them? Can they fight it and remain true to their partners? Now we all know if there's something one can't run and hide from, it's love. And I do know quite a few of people who fell in love on the net. And they are still going strong at it. If you're happy and you know it, then do your best to stay away from these networks because you'll never know who's waiting for you there and before you know it, they could whisk you away even if you do your best to resist.

There's really no need to invite temptation in your life. You could lose a diamond simply because you chose to pick stones.

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When Cupid Misses The Heart And The Arrow Hit The Wall

I haven't always been straight with people. I look back at the things I did to some people with great regret and somewhere in a dark corner is a heap of bones of skeletons from my past. Some totally didn't deserve all my dramatics. Some totally did.

Don't act shocked. Even you know exactly what I mean. Yes you been there and you know what it's like to put someone on the edge of a cliff and be faced with the options of pulling them back and sending them over. And you know whichever choice you make, they're dead anyway.

Might as well toss a coin in the air. Might as well take a gun, put it to their heart and pull the damned trigger. At least that way it will hurt for just a short time and it will all be over. Unlike feeding them a poison and leaving them there to die so slow that by the time they are no more, they've actually died a million deaths in one.

Lost? Ok. What I'm saying is if you feel it's over for you and them, tell them. Point blank like that. Don't go round in circles when you can stick to a straight line. Choosing the circle route aka the poison route: telling them you love them but there're some things you gotta deal with first is just plain mean and inhumane.

Love ends. We know that. Even in marriage it does. That's if it even exists in marriage. Oh well! Then again, that's a topic for another day. Right now what I need to do is apologize to all the people out there I hurt. All of those who didn't have it coming.

Especially you SNUP. It's been years since then and I admire how you took every ounce of hurt with a brave face and still lived on. And still learned to love again. But most of all, thank you for being a true friend even after all that.


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Naleli: You're the stars on my back.You'll always be with me.In life and in death.I'll take you with me to my grave.

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It's Braxton Thing

Yes, I still worship at her altar...it's quite simple really. She's amazing and I have to admit that a part of my artistic being died inside when she announced her retirement from music this year. I'll always respect her music.

She seemed to communicate with me in ways that other artists just can't. For every mood, she has a song. And her voice....OMG! Let's just say I'm not into the screamers out there. I love the smooth sounds of women with big voices.

So let's see what you gotta listen to. I mean ASAP when you're:

1.Moving On
-Still Breathing_
-Best friend_Toni Braxton
-Love shoulda brought you home_Toni Braxton
-Let it flow_Secrets
-Why should I care_Secrets
-He wasn't man enough_The Heat
-Just be a man about it_The Heat
-Never just for a ring_The Heat
-A better man_More Than A Woman
-Hit the freeway_More Than A Woman
-Let Me Show You The Way Out_More Than A Woman
-Lies Lies Lies_More Than A Woman
-Take This Ring_Libra
-Yesterday_Pulse
-Wardrobe_Pulse
-Caught_Pulse

2.Lonely
-Seven Whole Days_Toni Braxton
-Find Me A Man_Secrets
-Another Sad Love Song_Toni Braxton
-Woman_Pulse
-Why Won't You Love Me_Pulse
-Save Me

3.Love Ends
-Breath Again_Toni Braxon
-Unbreak My Heart_Secrets
-I Don't Want To_Secrets
-In The Late Of Night_Secrets
-Talking In His Sleep
-There's No Me Without You_Secrets
-Fairytale_The Heat
-Always_More Than A woman
-Do You Remember When_More Than A Woman
-Long Way Home_Libra
-If I Have To Wait_Pulse
-Pulse_Pulse
-The Break-up
-Rewind_Pulse
-Don't Leave


4.Confused
-Love Affair_Toni Braxton
-Maybe_The Heat
-Happily Unhappy_Libra
-It's You_Pulse

5.Love Begins
-Suddenly_Libra
-Looking At Me_Pulse
-Hero_Pulse
-No Way_Pulse

6.Naughty
-Candlelight_Toni Braxton
-You're Making Me Hight_Secrets
-Gimme Some_The Heat
-Speaking In Tongues_The Heat
-Tell Me
-Supposed To be_Libra
-Hands Tied_Pulse

7.Fantasizing
-Spanish Guitar_The Heat
-I Heart You_

As for the sooo in love list, check this later.

Ciao! And do enjoy.


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My Favourite Movie Quotes About Love...

I'm the kind of girl who loves romcoms. Who doesn't? And some things said about love in these movies crack me up. While others make total unbiased sense.

1. "Love and hate are two horns on a goat. And you need a goat."_ The Help

2. "You want what everybody wants. A love that consumes you. You want passion and adventure, and even a little danger. I want you to get everything you're looking for. But for right now, I want you to forget that this happened. Can't have people knowing I'm in town yet. Goodnight, Elena."_ Damon Salvatore from The Vampire Diaries

3. Queen Brunhild: I waited for you. As I said I would. Sikfrid, what happened? Did you find you couldn't love a queen as well as you did a passing stranger?....or was it the gold? That has turned many hearts cold before
Sikfrid: I don't know
Queen Brunhild: Who shall I ask? Why you loved me then and you don't love me now?
Sikfrid: I didn't.
Queen Brunhild: Don't lie to me. You can not claim you didn't love me. It was your first time, blacksmith. Mine as well....and I knew then that the gods had sent you to me. And me to you. And you knew it too, does that mean nothing?
Sikfrid: That's not how I remember it.
Queen Brunhild: That you never loved me? Even though you said you did?
Sikfrid: I was a boy then.
Queen Brunhild: If this, is what manhood brings, I only wish I'd learned this lesson sooner. But it's too late now. Perhaps I should pray, that I too, will remember our love so little. Because I will never know joy again, till I forget. Or you remember._ Ring of The Nibelungs

4. "It's doesn't feel fair what I feel. I should have felt it a long time ago. When I was very young. When I could say to myself that this is how love was. And how it would be. But we have waited so long, to know so suddenly, this light, how it hurts, how love can stab the heart." _ Cleopatra

5. "What I'm trying to say is I understand feeling as small and as insignificant as humanly possible and how it can actually ache in places that you didn't know you had inside you. And it doesn't matter how many new haircuts you get or gyms you join or how many glasses of chardonnay you drink with your girlfriends. You still go to bed every night and go over every detail and wonder what you did wrong or how you could've misunderstood. And how in the hell for that brief moment you could think you were that happy. Sometimes you'll even convince yourself that he'll see the light and he'll show up at your door...and after all that, however long all that may be, you go somewhere new, and you meet people who make you feel worthwhile again. And little pieces of your soul will finally come back, and all that fuzzy stuff, those years of your life that you wasted, that will actually begin to fade."_ The Holiday

6. "Pampinea, you're one of the most,no. The most beautiful girl I've ever seen. But I gave my heart to a kiss I can't let go. If only I could forget her but I must find her."_ Virgin Territory

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Revealed

So I totally agreed to bare it all to you. Your questions, though. Had me thinking so hard about lying but then I guess gone are my days of deceit. So now it's hello to the world of honesty and I have to admit that most of these questions are very deep and personal.

I loved one in particular and I bet it's one that most of you have been harbouring in the depths of your thoughts but never could let it hit the surface. Don't worry, you'll know it when you see it. I hope I correctly interpreted your questions. Enjoy:

1.Q: "what's your take on abortion?"

A: "I think it should be legalised in Lesotho because there're loads of cases of women dying from secretly done abortions in dark street corners and that means not only the baby but the mother is also lost in these. Whether we like it or not, people are always going to have sex. It's human nature and one can't be too careful. I personally wouldn't recommend it because I don't think it ends there. There may be emotional scars associated with it and one probably needs to see a shrink before they go ahead with it. It may be the only option on the table for underprivileged people and raising a child with no means is total cruelty."

2.Q: "What's the one thing you want to achieve out of life? Your purpose?"

A: "I have tons of those. But the most important is establishing a strong relationship with God. My faith fails sometimes and I want to believe regardless of any situation I'm in."

3.Q: "Most people think you're one of those fly chicks. They even ask how come I'm friends with you because you're too much yet you're just a simple thing. Do you think you're untouchable?"

A: "lol, they don't know me. It's all in the way I carry myself and from the outside, I'm superficial, yet inside, I'm so much more. All they need to do, is get to know me. I'm not untouchable. Ask any of my friends, including you."

4.Q: "How many men have you dated so far? And does your current partner remain outstanding from all of them or do you sometimes wish he had qualities of a few others?"

A: "The number would depend on how you define "date". My current partner's different. Better. I do wish they had qualities he has. Lol"

5.Q: "What's your most embarrassing moment in life? What would be hell on earth for you? Going without...?"

A: "It's hard to pick one. When I was in primary school, Std7, one guy in my class(think he's come out now),found a note in my song book about my then crush. It was detailed with names and all. This guy took it to the teacher who read it to the entire class and told me to bring my parents to school the following day. My cheeks were burning. By lunch, the whole Std7 block and a few other classes new the whole story and oh gosh, the judging stares. By end of school, everyone in the neighbouring schools knew. Including the guy in question, who only got popular and more girls were suddenly into him and the news kept spreading like wild fire. It only ended a year later when the results came out and I was one of the top10 students. Only then did they praise me for my brains and forget about the crush note.

Hell on earth would be living everyday not doing what makes me happy. I'm an artist and I'd like my work to be known. Most of you know I do write songs mostly. I sing as well to mention a few. It would definitely be hell for me to give all that up and still live..."

6.Q: "You've gained some weight recently, how do you feel about that?"

A: "I feel like a woman. My only disappointment in that is my bra size is still the same. Lol. And I do hope I don't go beyond size 6."

7.Q: "You have a baby, some people think little of you and judge you. How do you handle that?"

A: "If only they knew how happy and complete my life is with my daughter in it! I'm the luckiest woman to ever walk the planet. The one thing I do is stay away from negative people and I don't by any means let what they say get to me."

8.Q: "Why are you always on weaves? Is it because you can't stand your own hair? And what's your secret that keeps it looking good at all times? And for make-up, what can't you be without?"

A: "Weaves....lol, I find them easy to manage, unlike my natural hair which I never know what to do with since I don't want to relax it. My secret is my Remmington hair straightener. Make-up, I can live without that. But when I do wear it, I totally adore my waterproof Essence liquid eyeliner and Essence Lashmania Mascara. Lol, I should probably be the Face of Essence."

9.Q: "Can you marry me?"

A: "Whoa! Is that a proposal?"

Shoo! That was fun! Kinda.

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Last Academic Year Highlights

Kannete these ridiculously super long holidays should be cut. I can't stand them any more than I can keep convincing myself I can handle the heat. So it was fun running "projects" and always running as far as I could before I had another messy case of a "project gone wrong".

Last academic year was without doubt the most adventurous of them all. I did pretty much everything I wanted to do. I dated out of my comfort zone and it somehow paid off(no regrets). I found time to record a few still-incomplete tracks. I travelled like crazy and somehow enjoyed it. Well I guess it was a case of realising it all depends on who you with and not where you going.

I learned a lot about Lesotho. As usual, took tons of pics. I deactivated my facebook account. I started a blog. I've met a lot of local artists. I for-a-short-while co-hosted a radio show on the Ultimate Radio with DallasT. I went out more often and made a very few friends(accomplishment). I grew a lot emotionally and musically, I'm jumping out of my comfort zone and writing and composing a house track.

The next post will show be a Q&A between me and all of you. Anything you wanna ask. No holds barred.

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Hell Hath No Fury

I don't care which part of the world you're from. The US, the UK, the UAE or any part of the world. Get this right, in any given country, there's that part of it which is underprivileged and mercilessly overridden by unforgiving poverty. I don't care if your president is Obama or Zuma, or if your prime minister is Thabane, there's a percentage of your proud wealthy country that starves.

There'll always without fail be places where roads are inaccessible and people live in dilapidated shacks and struggle their way through each day to make ends meet. Some are homeless, some go for days on end on empty stomachs and even well-off countries like the US still fail to provide care sufficient enough with their "shelters for the homeless" for everyone in dire need.

In Lesotho, as in most African countries, you won't get to meet tons of homeless people because we have it in our hearts as a nation to care. If one relative needs assistance, at least 80% of us is okay with the idea of an extended family. We have values that strengthen family bonds while in this so-called developed countries, it's a raging war of the survival of the fittest and one man for himself. One word: SELFISH.

And just because they throw money at every problem expecting solutions doesn't make them any better, as if they don't know this is a rotten world, why not take that money and start making the changes you want to see in the world? Why trust someone with that responsibility? In most cases, these donations in form of money never fulfil their intended purposes and only the powerful and those in charge benefit from this while the poor remain poorer and hungrier and more desperate. At the end, they resort to crime for survival.

I love this country, God knows I do(I'm not saying I wouldn't go live in Paris), I love it's mountains, the rivers, the falls, its picturesque captivating landscapes...and if you're its citizen, you know what I mean. I would disapprove if in every inch of Lesotho, everybody wore modern attire. Up in the mountains, seeing the men in the fields and plains herding their livestocks and cultivating the land, wearing blankets and mekorotlo(hats), while women take care of home and cook with fire and iron pots,when they all live in thatched-roof houses built of stone; this, is NOT poverty.

When there are parts of Lesotho where the main transport mode is horse riding, it is NOT poverty. All these things are what make our rich culture. The home-made beer and festivities, we are proud of it all. And if you come to Lesotho and see all these, then don't be mistaken, we are all proud of it! So don't go to your country claiming we are so underprivileged we can't even afford a better transport mode.

And for some unknown annoying reasons, most of all of you choose to post pictures that depict your so-called poor Lesotho all over the internet and I swear anybody who's never been here thinks Lesotho is all that. Mountains and rivers. Yes I'm mad.

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Forgive Me Father For I Have Sinned

We all are human. We have secrets. Some we share with those closest to us, while others we surreptitiously sweep under carpets. There's always that one thing you've never had the guts to share with anyone. What we overlook is that while you choose to take your secret all the way to the grave, there's always relief in letting it out. Suddenly you'll feel the weight lift from your shoulders.

Even though some say that "two can keep a secret if one of them is dead," the power of sharing exists. Whether you believe it or not. Harbouring some secrets could destroy you emotionally. If you feel you couldn't possibly share any, ummmmm, you need help. Thanks to all the people who opened up about theirs. And yeah, some of you denied having that one secret, if you're one of those, well, don't judge those who did. And I personally don't think you don't have secrets, you just chose to take them to the depths of your graves.

Lineo*
"I have a crush on my friend's man. He's soooo yummy and I honestly just wanna f*ck him, you know, do the nasty! He has those lips and you know, he's just so calm and then to top it off, his girlfriend, keeps talking about his satisfying d*ck. And I want me a piece of that. He also gives me that attention whenever he sees me......"

Tholang*
"I slept with some guy's girlfriend and I just met him a few minutes ago. We ain't close but whenever I see him I feel bad."

Paballo*
"Let me think....I'm currently having sex with my friend's girlfriend, who happens to be the friend of my girl's sister. Now she's getting attached and calling me 'nyatsi' ea hae."

Lintle*
"Ok...I f*cked three guys in a period of 8 hours. Two without protection. Totally not proud of that."

Mpho*
"The woman who was the maid in my home when I was a kid took my virginity. Whenever we'd be left alone, I'd be excited. It went on for a year then she got married."

Quinn*
"I slept with my pregnant cousin twice and it was amazing. I always feel guilty when I see her with her husband and now she's close to my girlfriend."

Danny*
"I smoked mandrax, stole from and mugged people. Went to jail. The people closest to me don't know that side of me. They think I'm this very humble, motivational rastafarian dude. Yet somewhere out there I have a rank in a gang. Maybe I'm self-destructive."

Molise*
"I slept with my girl's bestfriend. I dated my bestfriend's girl while they were still dating. He still doesn't know about that. If he finds out, our friendship is through. I'm still sleeping with the girl but they are not together anymore. She's hot but I wouldn't date her because 'what if she does the same to me?"

I love you all and if you have any comments, don't post them here. Click on my profile below and leave them there under the post of your choice.

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Say Hello To Goodbye

Please lie to me. Lie and say you've never had to let go of something or better yet someone you'd rather keep with you. If going down that lane you find yourself hitting the brakes every now and then because it still takes away a part of you within, oh well, then cry me a river.

Sometimes you do wrong and you lose someone who means a lot and there's no way of getting them back, you know you have scarred them for life, and you have no one else to blame but you, the only thing left to do is watch them go. Your presence may serve as a reminder of the pain you caused them. And as for you, well, you are in pain too. But it's your fault. So deal with it.

At other times you're a victim and find yourself at the wrong side of a love song. You think you've got it all figured out. Only to be left in the midst of confusion trying to find your way out of a tangled web of a messy love affair. If you leave someone in that situation, here's something you gotta do. Same way you said hello, go and say goodbye.

You don't just pack up and leave without a word. Pelo ea motho ha se 'mantloane for God's sake! When you do that, you only harden the process of letting go for the other person. Sit them down, tell them the truth because lies can only make it worse. Leaving without a word, you leave them with not only the burden of a heavy heart over losing you but also the back-breaking work of finding why you left. You want them to leave you alone, fine, tell them the truth.

It's happened to me more times than I can count and frankly, I don't care to remember. Both ways actually. I left some without a word and one left me without a word. That sucks. But being where I am today, I can assure the victims out there that it's going to hurt...there are times when you'll feel like it's going to take forever, especially if you want it to go away overnight. But eventually, you're going to be fine. Trust me. One day you'll wake up, and it won't be as hard. Hell, you'll even laugh it off.

There's no need to keep hoping they'll be back. The best you can do for yourself is do your best to move on because trust me, they ain't thinking of you and they probably moved on even before officially leaving you. You just weren't in the know.

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Ink On Skin

In my opinion, tattoos are an aphrodisiac...like oyster is rumored to be. Oh well, #rollseyes, I wouldn't know. They simply turn me on. Tattoos tattoos tattoos! It looks like everybody out there is getting one, or two. Or three. Ok, let's make that A LOT of tattoos.

So apparently every tattoo is not just ink. It carries a certain meaning. And ignorant people out there are bound to be judged by their ink simply because they don't know it's meaning. Oh yes I do have a tattoo. A galaxy of 15cm in length. I don't know how people interpret star tats out there and frankly it doesn't matter. I know what it means to me. Hint: my daughter's name is Naleli.

I've been given all sorts of stares since I got it. Some impressed, some curious, some absolutely judgey! And I wonder, what gives anyone any right to judge anybody in this "flawless" world? Please! So as is my habit, I interviewed you my friends. And let's see what you think about tattoos.

Reatile*
"Lol...I love them. They represent the beauty of art. And yes I'd get one."

Lindiwe*
"Scared of they. They are forever. And I'm at a stage where I'm scared of the word forever."

Ron*
"I don't mind them so long as they don't portray evil or wrongdoing, perfectly fine."

Nthaby*
"I don't mind tattoos as long as they aren't all over the body. They are scary when they are like that."

Sammy*
"I love them madly and I would get one"

Ben*
"Tattoos are not ayoba. They are for life. And more, they are a means of communication. There's more to them than what meets the eye. They are more of a personal choice of statement."

Kealeboha*
"I don't like them. I'm a Mosotho sweetie. They call for attention. Like "hey! Look at me!"

Kelumetse*
"There was a time I wanted one but couldn't choose. It's too permanent for me but I understand anyone who has one. And I dated someone who has tattoos and was obsessed with them."

Thandie*
"I love them and I want one. But I also think they are Illuminati.

Lineo*
"I looooove tattoos. They are a form of expression and I want four of them!"

Anna*
"My only problem is that they are permanent. Even though I don't think I'd get one, I'd date a guy who has them. It's his body. Not mine."

Lintle*
"I don't have a problem with them. They are good if you get them done properly. Not too many of them though. One or two."

Rethabile*
"I love them! I have tattoos. Lots of them!"

Zandile*
"I like them and I'd get one but hide it from my parents because like most people, they think they are satanic."

Deezy*
"I love them. I want three butterflies for my mom, my dad and my son."

Sam*
"I love them and I'm going to get one. But one with meaning. Something about my mom."

Bongani*
"I really don't find them attractive and I see them as too much commitment since I haven't heard of an easy way to remove them should one fall out of love with them."

Mohale*
"I'm not into them. My woman has one but I have no problem with that."

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At One Point in Your Life

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Game Of Hearts

"No I can't." She said as she advanced a step away from him. How she moved puzzled her because she new she wanted to stay. She felt her heart beat with the strength of thunder. She was shaking. And she felt compelled to move back towards him. Guided by an invisible vicious force. There was no turning back now...she was bound to him. And 'him'.

She had no idea how tangled the web she was weaving was, until that moment. And only then did she realise its superiority complex. But it was too late. It wasn't harmless fun anymore. And she was forced to choose between the two men...and the one she was in the presence of now, was not the one she wanted to love.

Frankly, even though she'd always known he wanted more than just fun, what hit her as a surprise was she was falling for him. What about her boyfriend? She loved him as much but we all know that the new love cuts deep, no matter how tight the old love has you bound.

As she walked towards him, she said no word, she buried her head in his chest and he held her as she felt her heart open up to new possibilities. Then she looked up at him with terrified eyes...and to her surprise, he was laughing...then he said,

"It's just a game"







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Discipline From God's Point of View _ Pastor Wilson

-Start living a live that has Jesus in the centre so it doesn't spiral out of control.
-Bring discipline into your life. Undisciplined life results in failure.
-Be focused and keep going regardless of the hurdles you encounter.

1 Corinthians 9:24-27

-winning comes from preparation.
-preparation and discipline are not pretty, they are messy because you yearn to do something else more appealing.
-you'll only do as great as your time of preparation.
-your lack of discipline will manifest itself in your failure.
-conquer your instinct to opt for shortcuts.
-lack of discipline results in ineffectiveness.
-discipline matters more than speed.

*tale of the rabbit and the turtle

-to win, compete against yourself because you're striving towards your own goals.


Matthew 7:24-27

-be ready for hard times.
-be prepared for stormy seasons.

-Instill yourself to observing what God said and make time to do it.

Proverbs 23:6-8

Matthew 6:19-24

-you can not serve God and money/two masters at the same time.
-when you're generous, you receive more.
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Land Of The Flawless...

love is not complicated. but if you start looking at all the small things that dont really matter, you provide a foundation for complication. let your partner be who they are and if you can not accept the things that matter to them, why are you in their lives?

if to give them something you know they really want you have to ask them for something in return, thats not love. you simply want to mould them into your own selfish version of what you think someone to love should be.e.g, "baby i'll introduce you to my mom if you lose weight." seriously?

i spent a lot of time with one friend not long ago and as we had our girl talk (call it gossip if you may), we notised that most men are down right scared of commitment. and even when they are blessed with women who are independent and clear about what they want, these men still find something to "change" about these women.

In the meanwhile, we as women, are quick to learn to accept all the flaws our men come with. we don't go around asking you to change certain things and trust me, that does not mean you are perfect. and no matter how hard you try to sugar-coat that speech, we dont like to know that you think we are imperfect and are not happy about it.

We chose to be with you among all the men out there. it was a choice. a decision of our own so don't ever make it look like you're doing us some sort of a favour. Respect us. And always know that you are not the only one who wants us. You gotta work to get us and to keep us as well...

As for you women...#smh
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It's Friday. And it's night. Some of us are stuck indoors. We are already in bed and I know most of you guys are out having a blast.

Happy Drinking!!!!!
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Sleeping With The Enemy

You see them with someone new and your stomach churns and you sweat and your heartbeat races and it takes you moments before you actually calm down.

They call you and even though you promised yourself you'd never take their calls you find yourself pressing the green button and blushing your way through the call.

They say they coming over/ vice-versa, and you just drop whatever you're doing and start looking your best. Even though you practice in front of the mirror all the things you really want to say to them, you go numb around them.

Then comes the million dollar question: Would you f*ck your ex? Why? I found answers from real life people. Here's what they had to day:

Zandie*
"No, I wouldn't. He's my past and that's it. Doing that would make him disrespect me and think that I'm not over him or that I'm not happy where I am."

Moeketsi*
"No. Not at all. I can't sleep with my ex because I don't want trouble. My problem is I don't make sex casual, I have sex only with people I love. And I'm the one who ended all my past relationships, once I leave, I don't go back. I keep my distance once it's over."

Dan*
"I would if I'm not involved with anyone. Because I never date anyone I don't REALY like. So I guess it's safe to say a relationship is a life-long thing for me."

Simon*
"Lol, hell yeah! I have two reasons.
1.Because we might have broken up before I could have sex with her. Or
2.Because I simply just can't get enough of her even though she's an ex."

Relebohile*
"Yes I would. I'd just have sex. Not date. Hardcore porn type of sex just to keep things interesting.

Quinn*
"Yes I would. Depending on how things ended and how our sex life was. Seriously, you can miss your ex, regardless of how happy you are in your current relationship."

Maipato*
"Some I would. The ones whom I always wanted to bed but couldn't and said no to because I wasn't ready."

Mj*
"Nope, I wouldn't. Some things you just have to let go and yeah, even though I do sometimes lust after my ex, I wouldn't have sex with her. What we had is over and as a man, I can't be dwelling in the past."

NB. If you have something you'd like me to write about, don't hesitate to let me know on liyahdubraxy@gmail.com.

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Deeper Shades Of L'amour

Taking your clothes off in front of someone is pretty easy thing to do. It don't matter where you start. From shirt, to skirt, to lingerie and finally to heels. It's that easy. But giving all your heart to someone, when your heart's been opened up to feelings that you never knew, now that, that's just damn hard.

Letting someone into you so much that even their breath moves you, showing them all the cards....living purely for their happiness, letting them see the depths of your very soul, now that's what I call naked.

*L'amour _ love


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Oh Daddy, Where Art Thou?!

Each one of us has a father. That one, strong pillar and protector of your world. The one wall that always remains standing after a storm that brings your entire world grumbling down around you. You know you can always count on him. It's a maternal instinct for a father to be protective.

This post however, is for those people out there who have no father figures in their lives. Some have never met them and they have amazing single moms. Some have and lost them(may their souls rest in peace). Some just don't get along with theirs.

If you have never met your father, don't despair. Look around you. Surely there is a father figure in your life. May be an Uncle or a family friend. That one man who is always there when you need him. If you have lost yours, this day may be a reminder of what you don't have. But why not count your blessings and be grateful for the men who play that part in your life daily? And if you don't get along with yours, maybe because he denied you the love you so dearly deserved by renouncing you even before you were born, well, that's his loss.

And if you have tried all to reconcile with him and failed, at least you tried. If you haven't, why not? Learn to forgive their mistakes no matter how vile, because a forgiving heart is the most peaceful.

And for all men who know they have kids out there and just won't be men enough to take responsibility, shame on you. You grew up with a father and you're denying your child the same privilege you had. And if you never had a father, you surely know how hard it's been for you, so why want the same for your own child?

Happy Father's Day
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It's CASUAL

Let's talk sex. Yes. I said it. S-E-X. Sex. This is from a woman's point of view. We are also capable of "having sex" and not just making love. We know what "no strings attached" means and yes, we can get out of bed before you even get a chance to catch a breath after the deed.

Women are not naïve anymore. We are not stuck in the 19th century and throughout the years, we have come to learn so much from our counterparts. We get played so hard that eventually,we learn how to play the game as well. A woman who has been terribly hurt by physical pleasures because she attached emotional tags in the past now knows how to draw the line between sex and making love. It's a very thin line and only experts are capable of knowing which is which.

When you meet this type of woman, be careful player, she might just beat you at your own game with your own rules. Don't underestimate her. And the problem is when a self-proclaimed player meets this type, he falls for her. #sad. I've seen it happen a lot. And yet when the girls falls for him, he runs faster than Makoanyane(if you a Mosotho you know who this is). Reminds me of a line in Space Bound by Eminem: "You want them when they don't want you, soon as they do feelings change".

While casual sex may be mutually satisfying, we all know eventually if the sex is good, it's inevitable that emotions will find their way through and demolish all your perfect little world of fantasies. What then? You both run?

Believe me when I tell you this, nothing(seriously) beats the overwhelming feeling of sharing yourself with the one person you love. The one person who loves you back. Maybe someday you should try it. Soon.


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Down Memory Lane

So by chance I found myself at Nts'ekhe Hospital in Mohale's Hoek. Walking through the female ward B. I should have just stayed behind and let Lera go. But I kept walking. And I thought I'd be fine. But passing the door of the very same room and seeing the same bed my mother died in 8 years ago, I realised I almost cried.

It still hurt. And I still miss my mother. May her soul rest in peace.
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Are Looks Important?

To all you men and women out there who think looks are everything, where the hell you from? Like seriously! How ridiculous must you be to judge a book by it's cover? (Technically I do that, oh well, to literal books that ain't by Sidney Sheldon). But now I'm talking humans!

There are men and women out there who are not blessed with good looks but internally are absolutely amazing people who don't deserve to be judged in just one look. There's always more to a person than meets the eye.

I'll be the first to admit I've almost never dated an unpleasant looking guy but that was absolutely a long time ago and like a naïve girl, looks were everything! But now, I'm sure I have much more important aspects of what constitutes a person to consider when choosing a partner.

1. The brains
Oh hell yeah, nothing turns me on more than an intelligent man who can keep the conversation going and mentally challenging me while he's at it.

2. Personality
Catch up with me. Understand my jokes and make me laugh! Finish my sentences. Have that attitude that can easily be adjusted to suit any situation.

3. Confidence
We all want someone with this, don't we? I know women like me just totally catch men off-guard with our sharp tongues and always without hesitation stating facts even when we already know they won't like hearing them. But a man who can take criticism and match a woman's attitude without a stutter and without taking offence is for keeps.

Let's stick to just those for now. And yes, I absolutely do have a man in my life. He has definitely all of the things I want in a man and the fact that he's hot is just a bonus...
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Day-Dreaming

Kabelo* knew that at some point, she would have to stop running and let him catch her. She'd never been the type to play hide and seek, hard-to-get, you call it what you want. And in this case, she wasn't. She was just plain scared.
Scared of everything about him. His age mostly perhaps. And even though she'd been alone for at least 4months, giving in seemed impossibly reckless.

She saw him as a symbol of danger, something that turned her on whenever he randomly sprang into her thoughts without permission. The fact that he was older troubled her the worst. How could he be single? And with every achievement under his belt, what could he be waiting for? His smile, his light complexion, those eyes that had taken every inch of her with bare desire...

All this day-dreaming about a man she's met just once was maybe a symbol of her early insanity....


*not her real name

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Day-Dreaming

She was in love and scared to admit it. Would it really hurt to just give in to what she "secretly" desired?

Kabelo* knew that at some point, she would have to stop running and let him catch her. She'd never been the type to play hide and seek, hard-to-get, you call it what you want. And in this case, she wasn't. She was just plain scared.
Scared of everything about him. His age mostly perhaps. And even though she'd been alone for at least 4months, giving in seemed impossibly reckless.

She saw him as a symbol of danger, something that turned her on whenever he randomly sprang into her thoughts without permission. The fact that he was older troubled her the worst. How could he be single? And with every achievement under his belt, what could he be waiting for? His smile, his light complexion, those eyes that had taken every inch of her with bare desire...

All this day-dreaming about a man she's met just once was maybe a symbol of her early insanity....


*not her real name

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What Men Think of Baby Mamas

So I interviewed a few of the male friends I have to get their views on what they think of single women who have kids. And this is what they had to say.

MJR*
 "yes I have a problem with woman who have kids outside marriage since that won't affect her but in the long run will affect the kid, sometimes kids need a father figure in the life. But again I have accepted the fact that most of the women this days prefer to have kids outside marriage and still take care of them, because they believe all man are the same.
I personally hate that, but if it so happens that I'm inlove with a woman who have a kid, I will have to love the kid like she's my own."

R*
"It depends on the lady,u get beautiful women who have kids or a kid and they're cool and very hot so its not really an issue with me really and you're one of those ladies"

Mohale*
"I don't judge them I knw one can hv a kid not bn plnin like I nw my gf has a kid nd to me its not a big deal. All I don't like is a woman who has morethn one kid from deffrnt men that I don't like"

Thabiso*
"I dnt have a view. They have their reasons. Nna I'm nt like norml peopl I dnt care bout a lot. I'm chilled if womn got kids. Sure some wnt to have kids so ache wht m I bitchn bout"

Leqele*
"Personally, I wouldn't advice it. Life is hard enough for parents, adding another baby for them to raise is unfair. That's just what I think. Having a kid you can't afford. Or having a kid while you're not married. as for dating her, I don't mind. The baby is not my responsibility so it wouldn't be a problem. I would really have to be into her for days in order to take the kid as my own."

Damane*
"I try by all meanz 2 understand sum1 elsez situation. I mean nowadayz evry1 doez da act of makin a kid, so sum people actualy make da kid. So wat da f... Da kid is der n da kid iz a belessin. So wit me if I realy luv her, I wud marry a woman wit 10 kidz."

Bohlale*
"Honestly I wouldn't if ke tsibile before I go propose...And ha ke tseba when we r already dating, it'll take me so much guts to try n be honest with her that we can't continue... often times the pressure might come from parents due to cultural norms especially when a mosotho guy wants to have that lady's hand in marriage."

Sam*
"Hae nna kobane I dnt hv any problem wit em..I blv every1 dsrvs a chnce. Yeah,I mean we'v probbly evn made kids We dnt knw abwt out er,us guys I mean"

So ladies, there you have it.
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Why can't I sent images?
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To whom it may concernl

U're like the stars on my back. u'll always be with me. In life and in death. I'll take you with me to my grave...
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Weird

Wow
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helo everybody

this is the new place to find TruthSucks! 

Of course you're going to like this.

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Omg
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