There are a billion moments in my life when everything just takes the wrong shape and with every lesson life forced me to learn, I still never find solutions to most of the problems I encounter. I don't get it, I have had to play so many roles in my lifetime but I swear sometimes everything just feels so new.
It would be an absolute lie if I said I'm alright. If I said, I finally understand that you'd served your purpose in life and you were ready to leave. No. I was 15 and I needed you more than ever. I remember...feeling like my heart had stopped. Then shutting all emotion down and going to school the next day like all was well. Only to break down in class and I swear to God I thought the tears would never stop.
Fast-forward to 9years later, I'm in my bed. Thinking of you. Watching IceAge3 with my daughter, someone you have yet to meet. And she keeps hugging and kissing me, as if she can see through my smile. I miss you Mom. And even though I'm not completely fine, at least now I'm not a wreck as compared to the past years. Instead I'm looking back at all the good times we had with a smile.
Yes, I miss you. It's only natural.
******************************************
Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone from Vodacom
No comments:
Post a Comment